Divorce is often an emotionally charged process. It can have a significant impact on every facet of life, from living arrangements and finances to co-parenting and personal identity. While the legal aspects of divorce are important, it's crucial to acknowledge the emotional toll it can take.
Understanding the potential mental health challenges associated with divorce is a crucial step toward navigating this difficult transition. In this blog, we will discuss the potential effects of divorce on mental health as well as answer frequently asked questions about how mental health conversely impacts proceedings.
Understanding the Impact of Divorce on Mental Health
During a divorce, it's normal to experience a range of feelings that mirror the stages of grief – sadness, anger, guilt, and even denial. These emotions are a natural response to the loss of a dream, a life together, and the security of a partnership.
Suppressing these feelings can be dangerous. Bottling up emotions can lead to anxiety, depression, and even physical health problems. Allowing yourself to feel the grief and navigate through this emotional rollercoaster is a crucial part of the healing process.
Also, we do not want to solely paint a negative picture of divorce and its impact on mental health. Many divorcees can also experience positive changes as it relates to their health because divorce allows for introspection, self-reflection, and time for personal development.
Common Mental Health Concerns During Divorce
Some of the most common mental health concerns individuals may face during a divorce include the following:
- Anxiety and stress. As the initial shock wears off, the prolonged stress of navigating life post-divorce can lead to chronic stress and anxiety disorders. The constant worry about financial stability, child custody arrangements, and the future can create a persistent state of anxiety. This chronic stress can manifest in various ways, including physical symptoms like headaches, insomnia, and digestive issues. Over time, the relentless pressure can lead to anxiety disorders, which might require professional intervention.
- Depression. Depression is another common mental health issue that can emerge both during and following a divorce. This condition's symptoms can be incapacitating, featuring continuous melancholy, diminished interest in activities once found pleasurable, and extreme exhaustion. Those affected might also notice alterations in eating and sleeping habits, feelings of insignificance, and challenges with focusing.
- Low self-esteem. The end of a marriage can negatively impact a person's self-worth and confidence. While low self-esteem itself isn't technically classified as a mental health disorder, it can be a significant symptom of other mental health conditions, and it can definitely negatively impact your well-being. To be more specific, low self-esteem can make you more vulnerable to developing conditions like depression, anxiety, and eating disorders, and it can worsen existing mental health struggles.
- Addictive behaviors. Many addictive behaviors (i.e., substance abuse, gambling addiction, gaming addiction, food addiction, etc.) are recognized as mental health disorders by the medical community, as outlined in diagnostic manuals like the DSM-5. These behaviors are characterized by compulsive engagement despite negative consequences, impacting brain function and causing distress. Divorce, a major life stressor, can be a trigger for the development of addictive behaviors as a coping mechanism for the emotional turmoil and social isolation it can bring.
- Social isolation. The emotional strain and upheaval of the process can lead individuals to withdraw from their usual social circles. In some instances, friends, family, and others may withdraw from you or choose to side with your soon-to-be-ex spouse. Feelings of shame, guilt, or simply a desire for solitude may cause them to isolate themselves from friends and family. This lack of social support can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and depression, hindering the healing process. It's important to prioritize maintaining healthy social connections during divorce, even if it feels difficult.
Protecting Your Mental Health During Divorce
Some strategies you can employ to safeguard your mental health include the following:
- Prioritize self-care. Make healthy habits a priority. Ensure adequate sleep, eat a balanced diet, and engage in regular exercise. These practices can significantly improve your mood and resilience.
- Seek professional support. Don't hesitate to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide a safe space to process your emotions, develop healthy coping mechanisms, and guide you through this difficult transition; they can take many things off your plate, whether that handling be paperwork, talking with opposing counsel/your spouse, or preparing for negotiations or trial, which can help reduce your stress.
- Build a strong support system. Surround yourself with supportive friends, family members, or a divorce support group. Talking to people who understand what you're going through can provide invaluable emotional validation and encouragement.
- Maintain healthy boundaries. Establish clear boundaries with your soon-to-be ex-spouse, especially regarding communication. This can help minimize unnecessary conflict and emotional strain.
- Focus on the future. While acknowledging the past, allow yourself to envision a positive future for yourself. Reconnect with old hobbies, explore new interests, and focus on personal growth.
Can Mental Health Issues Affect the Divorce Process?
Yes. A documented diagnosis can influence several key aspects of the case.
Child custody arrangements are a primary concern. The court will prioritize the child's best interests, and a parent's mental health will be evaluated to determine their ability to provide a safe and stable environment. If a mental health issue significantly impairs a parent's ability to care for the child, custody arrangements may be adjusted, with supervised visitation or even sole custody for the other parent a possibility.
However, it is important to note that mental health conditions do not bar you from having custody. Read our blog, “The Effect of Parental Health on Custody Rulings,” to learn more about the specific impact of parental health on custody decisions.
Financial settlements can also be impacted by mental health concerns. In some cases, a spouse's mental illness may have contributed to the financial strain on the marriage. For instance, if a mental health issue leads to wasteful spending or neglecting financial obligations, the court may consider this when dividing marital property and debts.
Get Legal Counsel
If you are considering filing for divorce, the attorneys at William Kirby Law, Family Law Attorneys can help you navigate the divorce process. We have decades of collective experience and are known for taking a client-centered, holistic approach to cases.
Contact us online or via phone at (215) 515-9901 for a consultation.